Cicatrix
by Sarcasmcat
Summary: Kakashi knows Iruka has been his since the beginning. Dark KakaIru
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

A/N: This has been sitting on my hard drive for almost a year and I figured I'd finally post it.

Kakashi stroked his fingers through Iruka's hair, odd eyes focused on the man's sleeping face. It was nearing midnight and the smaller man had not yet woken. The thought that he had misjudged the amount of drugs he had slipped into Iruka's lunch time tea was creeping into his mind.

He was about to get up and retrieve the antidote when Iruka shifted slightly, eyes slowly opening. "Where am I?"

The jounin settled back down on the edge of the bed, hand trailing across the other man's cheek. Ignoring the confused look in the dark eyes he leaned down and pressed a brief kiss to his parted lips. "In your bed. You started feeling sick while in the Missions Room and I offered to bring you back here."

Iruka sat up, the blanket falling away to reveal that he wasn't wearing any clothing beyond his boxers. He snatched the blanket up and wrapped it around his body, eyes smoldering with anger. "And bringing me home gives you the right to strip me? We barely know each other Hatake-san."

Kakashi smiled and brushed the smaller man's hair behind his ear, ignoring the way he pulled back. "You're wrong Iruka. We've know each other for awhile. Ever since you stood up to me when I nominated Team 7 for the Chunin exam. We bonded then."

The dark haired man drew his legs to his chest, wanting to stay as far away as possible from the other man. There was something about the Jounin's actions that was setting off his internal alarms. "Hatake-san, I have no idea what you're talking about. We've barely talked."

Kakashi moved again so he was sitting in front of Iruka, leaving them eye to eye. "Call me Kakashi. After all, it's only proper to drop the formalities because we're involved." He leaned forward until he was a hair-breadth from Iruka's lips. "Since you belong to me."

Before he could react he found himself on his back with Iruka straddling him, the tip of a kunai resting against his throat. "I don't belong to anyone, not even the Sharingan Kakashi." He pressed harder, drawing blood from the pale throat. "Get out."

Kakashi's eyes darkened and with a move Iruka couldn't follow the older man reversed their positions, the kunai brushing teasing lines across the tan skin of Iruka's chest. "Things change Iruka. You've belonged to me for years." The pressure on the kunai increased, digging into Iruka's skin.

The dark haired man endured the pain in silence, eyes filled with hate and anger. When Kakashi was finished he wiped the blade clean on his pants and slipped it back into its pouch, eyeing his handiwork with an approving eye.

The letters 'KH' stood out in stark contrast to Iruka's skin, blood slowly filling the shallow cuts. He stroked his fingers along the smaller man's cheek, a soft smile curling his lips. "You'll come to love me like I love you Iruka. I promise." Pressing his fingers against a pressure point he again dropped Iruka into unconsciousness.

Once he was certain the other man was asleep Kakashi pulled a small package from his vest. He ripped a corner from the paper with his teeth and sprinkled the powder on the cuts on Iruka's chest.

The dust, infused with his chakra healed the cuts, leaving behind two dark scars on the other man's chest.

Kakashi stripped his vest off and curled next to Iruka, one hand on the initials.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/N: I hadn't originally planned on continuing this but it happened.

* * *

When Iruka woke the next morning the bed next to him was empty and stretching out his senses he could find no trace of Kakashi's chakra. Moving slowly he sat up and got out of the bed, ignoring the slight twinge of pain from his chest.

Feeling vulnerable as he never had before in his home he quickly dressed in sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt in complete disregard of the unusually hot morning. With trembling fingers he picked up a kunai, pointedly not looking at the faint rust colored flecks on the blade. Avoiding the squeaky board outside the door to his room he made his way to the living room, dark eyes scanning the corners. Just because he couldn't feel the other man didn't mean a thing. He was the Sharingan Kakashi after all.

After checking every corner of the house including under the sink he realized he was truly alone. The kunai dropped from suddenly nerveless fingers and he moved towards the bathroom stripping as he went. Passing the mirror he caught sight of the marks on his chest. Feeling nauseous but morbidly fascinated at the same time he turned to fully face the glass.

The six lines were completely healed though they retained the look of new scars. He couldn't turn away from the sight, eyes riveted on his reflection. They were a mark of shame now. He could have tried harder to fight Kakashi. Yes the older man was a Jounin and had been part of ANBU but he could have made Jounin too. He'd simply preferred teaching at the Academy, to mold the younglings into honest intelligent ninja.

He would have to wear Kakashi's mark until his death. Going to Tsunade was not an option. He would be forced to reveal what had happened. There was only one ninja with the initials KH in Konoha that could have gotten the drop on him.

"Don't look so unhappy Iruka. Someone as beautiful as you should never be anything but happy." Kakashi appeared behind him in a swirl of smoke one arm sliding around his waist, the dark fabric rough against his stomach. The Jounin's other hand came up to cup his chin, thumb brushing over his lower lip. "Seeing you always makes me feel better Iruka. My life before you was so sad."

The younger man couldn't stop the shudder that ran through his body when Kakashi nuzzled his neck, the fabric of the mask like satin against his skin.

Kakashi's hand drifted downwards until coming to a rest over his initials. His voice was so low when he spoke that Iruka could barely hear him. "I had to mark you. I couldn't risk losing you." Silence pervaded the air around them and Kakashi's fingers started tracing the scars in slow motion, paying no mind to the way Iruka shivered in his arms. "I'm so lonely." He collapsed against the younger man, holding him close even as he pushed him into the sink.

'I'm so lonely.' The words echoed in Iruka's mind. He knew how Kakashi felt. Other then Naruto's occasional visits he was alone. For a ninja like Kakashi the solitude must have been devastating. Without thinking he caught the silver haired man's hand with his own. It couldn't hurt to give the Jounin a chance. After all, he understood the man's pain.

"Don't worry Hatake-san. I'll be here."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/N: Another unplanned update.

* * *

Iruka toes his sandals off as he entered his apartment, dark eyes skimming over the living room and kitchen. Everything was where it had been this morning and the night before. There were no signs that more often then not he had a mentally unstable Jounin with abandonment issues living with him.

Kakashi had not drugged him again since the first night not had he tried to mark him. In fact, it seemed the silver haired man had calmed down and was more at ease then ever. On the nights he wasn't on a mission Kakashi would show up at his apartment with his orange book and sprawl out on the couch to read while Iruka made dinner.

Periodically the Jounin would bring dinner with him by they never went out. Rumors spread like wildfire through the village and neither of them could afford to have people talk about them.

Setting the stack of papers on a small table next to the door Iruka shrugged his vest off and hung it on a hook by the door before making his way to the kitchen. He added rice and water to a pot and turned the heat on before pulling a bowl of chicken out of the fridge that had been marinating since the morning. As he cut the meat into thin strips he allowed his mind wander back to his unusual companion.

After dinner Kakashi would clean up, allowing Iruka to get started on the homework that needed to be graded. Once the kitchen was spotless the older man would make his way back to the living room, orange book in hand.

It hadn't taken Iruka long to realize that the Jounin's day greatly influenced what the man wanted. On a normal day the silver haired man would simply sprawl on the couch behind him to read, occasionally reaching out to touch his back or neck.

After missions, especially when killing was involved Kakashi would curl around him, stomach pressed to his lower back as he stared into space. On those days Iruka would set his grading aside for a time and talk to the older man about the antics of his students, fingers combing through the coarse silver hair.

Those nights Kakashi would suffer from nightmares and Iruka would consider himself lucky if he got four hours of sleep. All in all, he was growing used to the Jounin presence, even if he had thrown his life into a blender.

"You shouldn't be thinking of other things while using a sharp object."

Iruka paused for a moment as a long warm body pressed against his back, dry lips brushing against his neck. "Good evening Hatake-san. And I can think and handle a knife just fine. The problem is the wild Jounin who sneaks up on me."

The lips trailed across his neck again with the barest him of teeth following. "It's been nearly five months Iruka. Please stop calling me Hatake-san. I'm not that much older than you."

"As you wish Kakashi-san." When he felt the body behind him tense he craned his head back until he could see the single visible eye. "Please don't push me."

Silence reigned for several seconds before Kakashi dipped his head, rubbing his masked cheek against the younger man's face. "Of course. I'll leave you to your cooking."

They ate dinner in silence like usual, though it felt different, as if something had changed between them.

Iruka traced the pattern of waves on his bowl with his eyes until he heard the telltale sounds of Kakashi setting his chopsticks aside and fixing his mask. He got to his feet and picked his dishes up, intent on putting them in the sink like always when a bony hand closed around his wrist. "Yes Kakashi-san?"

The silver haired man stood and took the dishes with his free hand. "Go grade your papers. I'll clean up."

Lowering his head in acknowledgement the Chunnin went into the living room and snagged the pile of homework off the table. With a sharp tug he freed his hair from its confinement, sighing as the headache building behind his eyes started to ease. He settled in front of the low table in the living room and pulled his red pen from the drawer on the table.

It wasn't hard to get lost in grading papers. For the most part it seemed his students all got the same questions wrong and between the scratch of his pen on paper and Kakashi's low whistling he found himself drifting off.

Strong hands dropped to his shoulders and thumbs dug into the base of his neck, masterfully driving away the stiffness. He leaned forward, hair falling around his face to allow the magic hands more room to roam.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when Kakashi finally pulled away. Rolling his shoulders he straightened up and glanced over his shoulder. The Jounin was on his knees behind him, hands folded loosely in his lap. "Thank you Kakashi-san. That felt wonderful."

"You're welcome Iruka." When the dark haired man returned to his work Kakashi took his vest off and tossed it on the couch. After a moment of debate he also removed his hitai-ate, careful to keep the Sharingan closed. Shifting his weight he unfolded his legs and leaned back against the couch, eyes on his companion.

Iruka was hunched over the table, pen scribbling away on the stack of papers. He could tell by the set of the younger man's shoulders that despite the brief backrub he was still in pain.

Making a decision he reached out, hands cupping Iruka's elbows as he pulled him back to rest against his chest. "Can you work like this?"

The dark head nodded and much to Kakashi's surprise it seemed to him that Iruka had moved closer.

"Good." He buried his face in the soft dark strands that smelled of cinnamon, content to simply hold the man.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/N: I meant to update this sooner but real life got in the way.

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Kakashi paused in the tree outside Iruka's bedroom. He'd just gotten back from a month long mission and the only thing on his mind had been the burning, pressing need to see the dark haired man. He was covered with blood, it had rained for most of the journey home and there was a long gash on his forearm that was probably going to require stitches.

His breath caught in his throat as Iruka rolled over into the moonlight, gilding his features in silver. He dropped to a lower, closer branch, eyes going to the scars on the tan chest that marked the other as his. Part of him always flinched at the sights of the scars, a silent reminder of how he had practically attacked someone he was sworn to protect.

Ignoring the responsible part of his mind telling him he needed to see a medic and report to Tsunade he slipped into Iruka's apartment, trying not to wake the man. In the bathroom a change of clothing and towel was resting on the sink as though Iruka had known he would stop by.

Unable to keep from smiling the jounin stripped, leaving his clothing in a sodden pile on the floor. He cranked the shower on as hot as it would go and stepped in, hissing with pain as the water cascaded over the shallow cut on his arm.

Once all the blood was gone he got out, not wanting to stay away from Iruka for any longer. Using some creative wrapping techniques he bound his wound before slipping on pants and eschewing his shirt, mask and hitai-ate. He never wore his mask when he slept and he trusted the dark haired man to not sneak a peak.

Shutting the lights off he made his way back to the bedroom in the darkness.

"Welcome back Kakashi-San."

Kakashi jerked back into the shadows, hand reflexively coming up to cover the lower half of his face. "Thank you." He stepped back again thinking to retrieve his mask.

"Don't. I promise I won't look."

The jounin stared at the other man, slowly going over the words in his mind. Part of him, pushed to the edge of paranoia by the years in ANBU was telling him not to trust the quiet voice and dark eyes. The part of him that wanted and had marked the younger man won out and he slid into the bed. "Thank you Iruka."

Soft fingers brushed over the bandage around his arm that was already stained with blood. "Why didn't you got to the hospital?"

He shrugged. "It isn't too bad and I wanted to see you."

Iruka muttered something he couldn't quite make out before leaning over to open the drawer on the bed stand. He pulled out a small first aid kit and set it down before starting to unwrap the stained gauze. "Serious or not it needs to be cleaned up and stitched shut."

Silence fell between them as Iruka proceeded to clean and close the wound, his hands as steady as any medi-nin's. Setting aside the needle he wrapped it again in gauze to provide extra protection. "All done."

"That was much better than many medi-nins. Where did you learn to do that?" Kakashi shifted so Iruka could get off the bed without having to look at him.

The Chunnin disappeared into the bathroom for a moment before coming back, wiping his hands on his pants. "All Academy teachers have to take first-aid classes. Never know what is going to happen when small children have sharp weapons." He slid back into the bed and stretched out on his back, waiting for Kakashi to join him.

Moving slowly Kakashi straddled the younger ninja's thighs, feeling Iruka tense. Once the tension eased out of the tan body he stretched out on the Chunnin, face pressed against his throat. He couldn't help but smile as he felt strong arms settle across his back.

Iruka took a deep breath and relaxed. While they'd shared a bed many times in the months since their strange relationship had started, Kakashi had never strange relationship had started the silver haired man slept quite so close. For being so tall the Jounin was surprisingly light and his weight was oddly comforting.

The sound of the renewed rain beat a steady tattoo against the window, helping to relax the two ninja. Kakashi brushed a soft kiss across Iruka's neck, shivering when the younger man's fingers trailed down his spine, tracing old scars. "I love you."

Tension shot through Iruka and Kakashi slid his arms under broad shoulders, keeping the Chunnin from moving. "Don't move. I know you don't feel anything for me but I had to say it. Never know when a mission is going to go bad." 

The stroking along his back slowly resumed though the tension never completely left Iruka's body.


	5. Chapter 5

Red

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

A/N: Final chapter. Thanks to everyone who took the time to review. It is greatly appreciated and it made me want to finish it. Enjoy.

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Red. It stained his hands and no matter how many times he washed the color wouldn't go away. Logically he knew it was gone, washed away in the chill rain but every time he looked it was back. Drying his hands on a towel Iruka went to his room and collapsed on the bed, one arm over his eyes. The room seemed so much smaller without Kakashi at his side.

Stifling a low groan of pain he couldn't help but recall the day Kakashi had gone.

--

Iruka jumped the alley, Gai half a step behind. It was pouring rain, numbing the two men and making travel across the roofs extremely dangerous. Common sense demanded he slow down but he couldn't, not when Kakashi was lying in the forest injured and perhaps dying. Instead he pushed more chakra into his feet and sped up.

He and Gai went over the wall at the same time and he could feel the sympathy coming form the older man. The jounin had shown up at his door, with a gash in his vest and splattered with blood he said was Kakashi's. He'd also said something about an ambush but Iruka had been slipping his sandals no, not really paying any attention to what the jounin had been saying.

All that mattered was that Kakashi was seriously wounded and perhaps even dying.

Landing in the trees he could feel several chakra signatures flickering and one that was steadily getting weaker. Fear coiled in the pit of his stomach and with a last push they came to the clearing where the ambush had taken place.

The enemy bodies were already gone, nothing but a charred spot left behind. The ground was a mess of mud and blood and even through the rain Iruka could spell the iron tang.

Asuma, Genma and Anko were standing in a semicircle around a limp figure on the ground. Iruka vaulted over their heads and slipped as he landed in the mud. Shock froze his heart as he dropped to his knees, hands hovering over Kakashi's chest.

A long slash sliced through the man's vest and shirt to reveal a sluggishly bleeding gash and his breathing was laboured. Beside the wound there was nothing obviously wrong with him but the injury did nothing to explain why his breathing was so off.

"Why haven't you taken him back to the village?" The three Jounin jumped and exchanged looks that he couldn't quite decipher.

Anko stepped forward eyes downcast. "He got hit by a blood jutsu. As near as we can tell his organs are slowly liquefying. He wouldn't survive a trip back to the village and we don't know if there are more enemies out here so we can't risk Tsunade out here. I doubt she would even be able to help."

"Don't worry about me Iruka. I did my job. I protected you and the village." Moving slowly Kakashi raised a hand to his face, fingers slipping under the edge of his mask. With a hitching breath he pulled it down to reveal a straight nose broken one too many times, thin lips and teeth that were a little crooked.

He reached out with his free hand and Iruka caught it, painfully aware of the iciness of the pale skin. "Told Gai to get you. Wanted to see you one more time. I've known for awhile it was go-" Coughing interrupted him, blood trickling from his mouth.

Iruka tightened his grip and brushed the blood away, heedless of what it might look like to the others. He pressed a kiss to the back of Kakashi's hand, eyes closed against the pain. It wasn't fair. Even with Kakashi lying in the freezing rain and mud, dying in an excruciating manner he couldn't say what he wanted to hear. "I'm sorry Kakashi. I can't say it."

Kakashi smiled, the movement tugging at his scar. "It was enough for you to say my name." His eyes drifted shut and all the tension seemed to drain out of his body, as if he had finally found peace.

He quickly lost track of how long he stayed there, kneeling in the mud and rain, never releasing Kakashi's hand. At some point the four Jounin had turned their backs, in the guise of standing guard but he knew it was to give them some privacy.

With one last shuddering breath Kakashi's chest fell, his hand going slack in Iruka's. Leaning forward he brushed a soft kiss across the Jounin's bloodstained mouth. He gently folded Kakashi's hands and got to his feet, meeting Gai's gaze. "Take him home."

--

Rolling onto his side he reached under the pillow, fingers brushing over cold metal. He withdrew Kakashi's hitai-ate, eyes running over the diagonal slash bisecting the leaf. "You deserved better then me."


End file.
